Still Here! Still Kicking!

I didn't realize how long it has been since I've updated this!  My world has been turned around, upside down, inside out and well you get the picture.

Yes I'm still kicking, just not as high as before.  To catch up on this blog I will have to do it in stages so for today I'll talk about the chemo I received.

I did 6 months of chemo, FOLFOX and 5FU.  Every two weeks I would sit in the Oncology department and have a drip of poison poured into me.  After about 4 hours of this I would be hooked up to 5FU in a bottle to take home and that would last for 46-48 hours.  Another trip into the Oncology center to have the bottle disconnected and I was good for another two weeks. (Man I love my port!)

Well not exactly good.  The chemo caused a lot of nausea and I tossed my cookies quite a few times!  It also caused neuropathy in my fingers and feet.  The neuropathy didn't really settle in until after the last chemo so my Oncologist said there really wasn't much they could do about it but sometimes it improves with time.  Mine has improved but not fully gone away.  I guess I'll have to live with it but I'm very grateful it's not that bad.  I've heard from others that have it way worse than I do.

Around my 8th treatment my legs started giving out.  They were very weak and I had difficulty walking.  By the end of my 9th treatment I had to use a walker to get around and if I went shopping I had to use a wheelchair.  My Oncologist didn't know what was causing this but cut off the Oxilaplatin for my last two treatments.  She also cut out a steroid that had been given to me during the infusions.  My legs remained weak but didn't get any worse and the up side of it was the nausea improved a lot for the last two treatments!

I did have a very unfortunate incident happen during this time.  On chemo day I was always given anti-nausea meds in pill form instead of through the drip with my chemo.  A new Oncology nurse was being trained from my 3rd treatment on and everything was going well.  On my 6th treatment I noticed she hadn't given me the anti-nausea meds.  The head Oncology nurse came to me and asked me if I had taken them.  I told her no I hadn't been given them yet.  She turned to the training nurse and asked her if she had given them to me and she said yes she had.  The head nurse turned to me and asked me again and I told her that I had not taken any pills that day and I pointed to my table and explained "You know me G.  You know I can't take any pills without water.  Look on my table, there is no paper cup for the pills and no one brought me any water.  I have not taken any pills nor have I been given any pills."  The head nurse G then took the trainee aside and I never heard any more of it.  When my chemo was over I suddenly started getting sick.  I went into the bathroom, locked the door and started violently throwing up.  I have NEVER thrown up like that in my life!!  It was so violent that I lost my breathe, I couldn't breath between the throwing up and would have ended up on the floor except the trainee nurse had unlocked the door, came in and held me up while I continued to toss my cookies.  Every time I thought I was going to pass out she was able to bring me back out of it and I continued throwing up like that for quite some time!  It seemed like hours but I know it couldn't have been that long.   When I finally stopped the bathroom looked like a vomit tornado had happened!  It was everywhere!  I was so upset that I made a mess like that but there was nothing I could have done because the vomiting was so violent!!  I was apologizing to all the nurses and thankfully there were no patients there at the time.  I was sooo weak and sooo embarrassed.  I have never been that sick in my life!  (So sorry if this is TMI!)

My poor husband had been waiting outside in the car for me and when I didn't show up came to the Oncology to get me.  Was he ever in for a surprise! LOL  Poor guy.  From start to finish when I could leave the Oncology center is was an hour and half.  My ever-loving husband packed me into the car and drove me home.  By the time I got home I started throwing up again.  Thank goodness it wasn't in the truck!  I was so weak that I was on the floor with a bucket and stayed there until I was finished.  Then I found that I was too weak to even get up off the floor.  My husband tried to help me up but I was too embarrassed and told him to leave me there and I'll get up in a minute, I just had to catch my breath.  Eventually he just stopped listening to me and picked me up off the floor, settled me into bed and cleaned up after me.  It bothered me that I had to be helped up off the floor but his love knows no bounds.  He very lovingly picked me off the floor and helped me.  I'll always remember how this man with a very touchy tummy, who normally couldn't watch something like that. never thought twice and was there for me even when I was too stubborn to admit I needed help.

When I went to get unhooked from the 5FU bottle 46 hours later the trainee nurse wasn't there.  I never thought anything more than she had a day off but when I went back two weeks later for my chemo I had to go see the Oncology Doctor first.  She explained I had gotten that sick because I hadn't been given the anti-nausea meds and that mistake will never happen again.  They planned on having all my anti-nausea meds go through the IV with my chemo so a mistake like that couldn't happen again.  I was very, very nervous about this chemo thinking I might be sick like the last time but they assured me it would be ok.  When I went to get hooked up for chemo the head nurse, G, hooked me up and the trainee nurse was no where to be found.  G tried to convince me to take a pill called Ativan.  They tried to get me to take Ativan from my very first chemo but I refused because I wasn't anxious about chemo until now.  In my mind I knew I had to do chemo to save my life so let's just do it.  But this time she kept talking to me about the benefits of taking Ativan.  She really wanted me to take it and eventually said it would help with nausea.  When she said that I decided to take it because I didn't want a repeat of the last time.  What I didn't know is that Ativan would knock me out the entire chemo time!  I slept the whole time!  Chemo day flew by in a blink of an eye!  Not a bad deal at all! LOL

I never did see the trainee nurse again and G told me she wouldn't be returning.  I feel very bad that she lost her job because of me but I don't think she would have lost her job if she hadn't continued to say she gave me the meds even though she knew she hadn't.  If she had of admitted she just didn't remember she may have been able to keep her job.  It was very obvious that she hadn't given the pills to me by the end of chemo but she continued to say she had!  I really think that's what cost her her job, not the mistake.  I still can't help feeling bad for her though.

I finished my chemo on November 1st, 2012.  My cea still was above normal, I think it was 6.3 so they were pretty sure there was still cancer that had not been taken out during the surgery and had not been killed by the chemo.  I was to be scheduled for HIPEC surgery but that's another blog story.

I wish you all enough. :)

She Calls Me Buddy

I haven't updated this for a while because I wanted to go through two chemo sessions before I posted.  My first session on FOLFOX had some side affects, nausea, cold sensitivity, the "quick step" and very tired.  I was given two medications for nausea but didn't know I could take them both at the same time. 
The cold sensitivity started the same day as the infusion, Monday.  I couldn't even touch room temperature things and I couldn't drink anything that wasn't hot because it felt like shards of glass in my throat.  This improved by the end of the week as did all the side affects.
The second session I had just last Monday.  The nausea was worse but again that was my fault as I didn't know to use the second medication at the same time as the first.  I know better for next time as it's much easier to treat nausea before it hits than after!  Lesson learned!  I've also stocked up on diet gingerale and soda crackers which also got me through a 10 month pregnancy years ago! (Yes I was horribly sick and overdue with my daughter)
With the second session I did have hot flashes and feeling faint, usually in the evening but once in the morning.  I'll check with my doctor on the next chemo day and see what I can do about that.
Bring on the next Chemo cause I think I may be more prepared.....hopefully!
Although the side affects lasted a little longer this time and a little harder I am hoping I will be more prepared for the next one and be able to treat the side affects better.  I've also named my port-a-cath Porticia.  I have no idea why I chose that name but I did.

Because I have no immune system right now I am not able to see my precious granddaughter.  She's two years old and calls me Buddy.  We don't know why but that's the name she's always had for me.  I think it's cute!  We've always called me Gramma or Grammy around her but she insists that I am Buddy...so I am.  She loves to visit Buddy and Grampy and we spoil her rotten....well as rotten as her Mommy will let us! ;)
It breaks my heart that I have to stay away from her for a while so my daughter suggested I download something called Skype so I can see and talk to her on the computer.  I think it's a great idea so I'll be doing that today!  Just think, for the next 5 months I will probably be known to BB (Beautiful Babygirl) as "Buddy The Talking Head"! LOL
I can just see her going to daycare telling them "The talking head read me a story!"  "The talking head told me to eat my veggies!"  "The talking head makes me laugh" LOL I can just see how confused the daycare people are going to be!  It should be interesting and hilarious to see how this plays out!

I wish you all enough.

Name?

I got the Porta-cath put in yesterday.  I thought I slept through the procedure but apparently I didn't.  I was able to talk to them when I felt some pain and they gave me more meds but I don't remember a thing.  Best way to go through a procedure I guess.  It only took 1 1/2 hrs.  I was out of the hospital by noon and travelled back home in time to feed my zoo.  (Two cats and two dogs)

It was a little sore last night but nothing I can't handle.  I've been through much worse! LOL  Today it seems to be settling in to my life and not so sore.

So now that Porta-cath is part of my life and suppose to be my friend I might as well name it.
Hmmm...what name should it have?  Maybe I should wait until after my first Chemo on Monday to see how it works and then name it. 

Have a great weekend!
I wish you all enough!

My new Friend?

I'm off to get the Port-a-Cath put into my chest tomorrow.  I am apprehensive about the whole thing but it's something that has to be done.   I might as well make friends with it as from what I've been told it will be with me for a long time! 

It will be a long day for my husband with the early morning and all the travelling out of town.  I guess in a way I'm the lucky one as I'll probably be sleeping for most of it...I hope! :)  My children wanted to go too to be with me but there's really no need to as I'll be either in surgery or sleeping so I told them to stay home.  My daughter isn't happy about it but we'll see if she listens to me. LOL  I have to be there early but they said I should be able to leave around noon so I guess it only takes a few hours to do.

One step closer to being cancer free :)

I wish you all enough!

Oncologist visit

The visit to Dr. S. my Oncologist had some good news and not so good news.
The good news is the CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvic was clear.  They could see no cancer in the CT scan.  The not so good news is that my CEA count is up a bit.  It was 166 before surgery and after surgery it was 5.9.  The last two tests showed it raised to 6.9 so there is cancer but they don't know where.

Dr. S. started talking about a new procedure called HIPEC that she felt I was a good candidate for because of my age.  Because I was young (it was nice to hear that 51 was young!) they would like to consider me for this.  She told me that they open my abdomen, heat up the chemo and pour it in and let it sit there for a while.  She said that this is relatively new so there aren't many stats to show me how well it works compared to people who don't get this.  She then received a call from the doctor that does the HIPEC and he suggested that I go on chemo for 6 months first, then get a PET scan and if the cancer hasn't spread into any other place but my abdomen then they will do the HIPEC surgery.  I am glad they are starting the chemo first because I really feel we need to get on this as soon as possible instead of waiting for PET scans and info on HIPEC.
I go on Thursday to have a Porta Cath inserted in my chest and I start Chemo (Folfax or 5FU?) next Monday.  I am not looking forward to the many side affects but I am looking forward to finally doing something about this cancer!  It's been 8 weeks from surgery and I feel hitting it as soon as possible gives me a better chance.

I try to stay positive and I do believe I can beat cancer's ass but sometimes the anger creeps in.  I am angry about being misdiagnosed for so many years!  IBS is what they said was the problem and no matter how many times I went with complaints they just told me "you have IBS".  There was no scans done nothing.  If they had listened to me I wouldn't have stage 4 colon cancer!  It would have been caught early and my chances of a long long life would have been so much better.  Yes I know that that's the past and it's done and it's time to let it go and I know life and cancer isn't fair but sometimes...well I have to learn how to let that go. 

If anyone reading this blog ever gets the diagnosis of IBS or has ANY of the signs of colon cancer please please DEMAND a colonoscopy and/or CT scan!  Colon cancer, if caught early, is one of the easiest cancers to cure!

I wish you all enough!

Housework?!

I never thought, in a million years, that I would look forward to doing HOUSEWORK!  Housework used to be something I had to do so others wouldn't think we were complete slobs.  Everyone has to do housework but no one enjoys it.  Cleaning the same things day in day out.  Just getting the house clean and it's messy again.  A continuous cycle with no end in sight. Monotonous.  There were so many other things I wanted to do besides housework!

But now?  I look forward to it!  Yes I said it!  I love doing my housework now!  No I haven't gone off the deep end...well not quite yet anyway although I am teetering.  Since the colon resection surgery I haven't been able to do too much.  It's been a long and boring recuperation but now I can occupy my time doing light housework.  It makes some of the time go by so fast and it's something I look forward to doing.  There's still alot I can't do yet but I'll get there eventually.  By my being able to do some light housework it sure takes a load off my wonderful, caring, loving husband.  He's been running his business, my business, looking after me and doing all the cooking, cleaning and laundry as well as taking me to all my appointments.  He's so tired and I worry about him so much.  He has the stress of all that and the stress of his wife having cancer.  I don't know how much more the poor man can take!

So I shuffle around the house looking for things I can do that will relieve some of his work load and stress.  I know it's not much yet but soon I will be able to do all of it and get back to running my business. 

I love that man more than I could ever say!

Have a great day! :)

Addicting!

I've spent way too many hours surfing some fantastic blogs today.  This is more addicting than facebook games!  I've added some wonderful blogs to my list so I can revisit them and I'm sure I'll find many more to add.  I hope no one minds :)

I'm still trying to figure out all the blogging stuff.  It took me an hour today just to add a site meter!  I used to blog many years ago but so much has changed that I'm totally lost now.  Hopefully I'll get the hang of this soon!

I'm off to make my life miserable (and waste more time) by trying to add more gadgets.  :)

Have a great day!