Still Here! Still Kicking!

I didn't realize how long it has been since I've updated this!  My world has been turned around, upside down, inside out and well you get the picture.

Yes I'm still kicking, just not as high as before.  To catch up on this blog I will have to do it in stages so for today I'll talk about the chemo I received.

I did 6 months of chemo, FOLFOX and 5FU.  Every two weeks I would sit in the Oncology department and have a drip of poison poured into me.  After about 4 hours of this I would be hooked up to 5FU in a bottle to take home and that would last for 46-48 hours.  Another trip into the Oncology center to have the bottle disconnected and I was good for another two weeks. (Man I love my port!)

Well not exactly good.  The chemo caused a lot of nausea and I tossed my cookies quite a few times!  It also caused neuropathy in my fingers and feet.  The neuropathy didn't really settle in until after the last chemo so my Oncologist said there really wasn't much they could do about it but sometimes it improves with time.  Mine has improved but not fully gone away.  I guess I'll have to live with it but I'm very grateful it's not that bad.  I've heard from others that have it way worse than I do.

Around my 8th treatment my legs started giving out.  They were very weak and I had difficulty walking.  By the end of my 9th treatment I had to use a walker to get around and if I went shopping I had to use a wheelchair.  My Oncologist didn't know what was causing this but cut off the Oxilaplatin for my last two treatments.  She also cut out a steroid that had been given to me during the infusions.  My legs remained weak but didn't get any worse and the up side of it was the nausea improved a lot for the last two treatments!

I did have a very unfortunate incident happen during this time.  On chemo day I was always given anti-nausea meds in pill form instead of through the drip with my chemo.  A new Oncology nurse was being trained from my 3rd treatment on and everything was going well.  On my 6th treatment I noticed she hadn't given me the anti-nausea meds.  The head Oncology nurse came to me and asked me if I had taken them.  I told her no I hadn't been given them yet.  She turned to the training nurse and asked her if she had given them to me and she said yes she had.  The head nurse turned to me and asked me again and I told her that I had not taken any pills that day and I pointed to my table and explained "You know me G.  You know I can't take any pills without water.  Look on my table, there is no paper cup for the pills and no one brought me any water.  I have not taken any pills nor have I been given any pills."  The head nurse G then took the trainee aside and I never heard any more of it.  When my chemo was over I suddenly started getting sick.  I went into the bathroom, locked the door and started violently throwing up.  I have NEVER thrown up like that in my life!!  It was so violent that I lost my breathe, I couldn't breath between the throwing up and would have ended up on the floor except the trainee nurse had unlocked the door, came in and held me up while I continued to toss my cookies.  Every time I thought I was going to pass out she was able to bring me back out of it and I continued throwing up like that for quite some time!  It seemed like hours but I know it couldn't have been that long.   When I finally stopped the bathroom looked like a vomit tornado had happened!  It was everywhere!  I was so upset that I made a mess like that but there was nothing I could have done because the vomiting was so violent!!  I was apologizing to all the nurses and thankfully there were no patients there at the time.  I was sooo weak and sooo embarrassed.  I have never been that sick in my life!  (So sorry if this is TMI!)

My poor husband had been waiting outside in the car for me and when I didn't show up came to the Oncology to get me.  Was he ever in for a surprise! LOL  Poor guy.  From start to finish when I could leave the Oncology center is was an hour and half.  My ever-loving husband packed me into the car and drove me home.  By the time I got home I started throwing up again.  Thank goodness it wasn't in the truck!  I was so weak that I was on the floor with a bucket and stayed there until I was finished.  Then I found that I was too weak to even get up off the floor.  My husband tried to help me up but I was too embarrassed and told him to leave me there and I'll get up in a minute, I just had to catch my breath.  Eventually he just stopped listening to me and picked me up off the floor, settled me into bed and cleaned up after me.  It bothered me that I had to be helped up off the floor but his love knows no bounds.  He very lovingly picked me off the floor and helped me.  I'll always remember how this man with a very touchy tummy, who normally couldn't watch something like that. never thought twice and was there for me even when I was too stubborn to admit I needed help.

When I went to get unhooked from the 5FU bottle 46 hours later the trainee nurse wasn't there.  I never thought anything more than she had a day off but when I went back two weeks later for my chemo I had to go see the Oncology Doctor first.  She explained I had gotten that sick because I hadn't been given the anti-nausea meds and that mistake will never happen again.  They planned on having all my anti-nausea meds go through the IV with my chemo so a mistake like that couldn't happen again.  I was very, very nervous about this chemo thinking I might be sick like the last time but they assured me it would be ok.  When I went to get hooked up for chemo the head nurse, G, hooked me up and the trainee nurse was no where to be found.  G tried to convince me to take a pill called Ativan.  They tried to get me to take Ativan from my very first chemo but I refused because I wasn't anxious about chemo until now.  In my mind I knew I had to do chemo to save my life so let's just do it.  But this time she kept talking to me about the benefits of taking Ativan.  She really wanted me to take it and eventually said it would help with nausea.  When she said that I decided to take it because I didn't want a repeat of the last time.  What I didn't know is that Ativan would knock me out the entire chemo time!  I slept the whole time!  Chemo day flew by in a blink of an eye!  Not a bad deal at all! LOL

I never did see the trainee nurse again and G told me she wouldn't be returning.  I feel very bad that she lost her job because of me but I don't think she would have lost her job if she hadn't continued to say she gave me the meds even though she knew she hadn't.  If she had of admitted she just didn't remember she may have been able to keep her job.  It was very obvious that she hadn't given the pills to me by the end of chemo but she continued to say she had!  I really think that's what cost her her job, not the mistake.  I still can't help feeling bad for her though.

I finished my chemo on November 1st, 2012.  My cea still was above normal, I think it was 6.3 so they were pretty sure there was still cancer that had not been taken out during the surgery and had not been killed by the chemo.  I was to be scheduled for HIPEC surgery but that's another blog story.

I wish you all enough. :)