I Have No Words To Describe The Pain

My Jake passed away this morning, of kidney failure.

My Best Friend Is Very Sick

Just after my last post my dog, and constant companion for the last 8 years, Jake became very ill. I've been spending all my time with him. He seemed fine and then suddenly started vomitting and diarrhea. He just steadily and swiftly went down hill. He's been at the vet for the last 3 days and is still in very serious condition. His kidneys seem to be shutting down and we have no idea what is causing this. He is sooo weak he can't even stand up. They will keep him on IV for a few more days and then if he isn't improved or his kidneys are damaged too much I will have to make a very difficult and heart-breaking decision to put him asleep.

I don't know what I'll do without him.

Still Kicking!

I'm still no closer to my surgery but I'm feeling much better. Hopefully that will be the last flair-up.

I actually took some time to take a little vacation while recuperating. I haven't loaded the pictures into the computer yet. Once I get them on the computer I'll post a few.

Daughter and Future Son-in-Law have moved back here now. Daughter and grand-kitty lived with me for the last three months while F-SIL finished up his course and gave his notice at work. Daughter has a job at the hospital here so she stayed with me and used my truck to get back and forth to work until F-SIL finished work where they used to live. As of last night they are all moved into, but not unpacked yet, their own apartment in town. As of this morning they took grand-kitty with them. Princess Sophie and I are so lost. We miss grand-kitty very much. Sophie is moping around the house, crying and looking everywhere for grand-kitty....ok that's me but Sophie is very upset too!

The house does seem so quiet now that Daughter and Grand-kitty have moved out. I'm really going to miss them. I just might have to go to the SPCA and find another playmate for Sophie because she is just heartbroken. She won't even agitate Jake today like she usually does. Jake, of course, doesn't mind in the least. As far as he's concerned it's one less cat to bug him. He's having his morning nap right now and as soon as he's up from his morning nap he'll head into his afternoon nap and then right to his evening nap. He's soooo active! LOL

I can't wait to read all your blogs and get caught up again. After that I'll have to go do some yard work. It's a beautiful day and perfect for gardening!

I wish you all enough.

Back...For A Minute

I'm so sorry for not updating here lately. I haven't run away from home or anything that drastic...well at least not yet! I haven't been feeling well and I've been doing exactly what my doctor told me to do...nothing! It's nothing serious...well nothing that a surgery can't correct but I can't find a surgeon! It's just a flair-up that will pass soon. I'm feeling a bit better right now but decided to take it easy the rest of the week so I'll be back next week to write again and to catch up on all your sites.

I wish you all enough!

UNBELIEVABLE!

I don't usually write about things like this but I'm making an exception today. I've been following this story for a while now and the more I read and learn the angrier I get. I'm not normally subject to fits of anger. I'm a very even keeled person and I let a lot of things just fall off my back rather than waste my time with anger but this is something no one should let roll off their backs.

On Jan 6 a 15 year old boy entered the men's washroom in the Miami Airport and proceeded to the urinal. A man walked in behind him and situated himself in the next urinal to the boy. The boy said this man started to masturbate and make strange noises and then reached into the boy's urinal. The boy ran into a bathroom stall and locked the door. The man entered the next stall, reached under the stall and tried to grab the boy. The boy ran out of the bathroom to where his parents were waiting for him and told them what happened. The police were alerted and the boy identified this man to the police. The man was arrested immediately.

Earlier this year the man was charged and pleaded guilty in Miami to "lewd and lascivious conduct with a child under 16". Last month a judge sentenced him to 5 years probation with the condition that if he ever returns to Florida he has to report to the police.

Sounds normal right? (Personally I feel jail time and probation, and castration would have been justice but that's just me and obviously not the judicial system.) Well not exactly normal, you see this man is from my area. I don't want to mention his name due to g**gle hits but he was the Conservative Member for our area between 1982-1987 in former Premier Richard Hatfield's government.

Here's the kickers.
1) American authorities have alerted our police about his sentence and informed them that the probation conditions are ONLY enforceable in the US.
2) The probation conditions of this man who PLEADED GUILTY to a sex crime involving a 15 year old boy in Florida carry NO weight in Canada.
AND
3) Because the judge sentenced him using the words "withold adjudication" he will have NO criminal record if he completes his probation.

So this man who admitedly commited a sex crime is living free and clear in our area. As long as he is in Canada, which is his home, his probation is not enforceable so he has NO probation, he lives free and clear and he has NO criminal record.
HE GOT AWAY WITH IT!! SCOT FREE!! How can this happen? An American or Canadian can hop the border, commit a sex crime, be convicted and then hop back home over the border and live his/her life free, no probation, no criminal record. That just screams injustice! That's just un-fucking-believable!(sorry) U.S. and Canadian authorities HAVE TO come up with some sort of policy when it comes to crimes such as these so that sentencing actually means something!

California Governor, Arnie, visited Canada last week. One of his discussions with our idiots was how Canada and the U.S. should band together and crack down on movie piracy. Yes I can see how important this would be. If I pirated a movie I would definitely get a jail time, yet monsters who prey on our families and loved ones get off scott free. It's too bad Arnie and our top brass couldn't have talked about something more important than pirated movies, you know, something like...oh just off the top of my head....CHILD PREDATORS GETTING OFF SCOTT-FREE!!

Our two countries can not let this happen again! They have to form a cross-border policy on child predators! Why is there not a policy now? How can this happen?

HAPPY TIMES & A FEW TEARS

Yes Monica, I did shed a few tears.
You see, the beautiful headstrong daughter that graduated University is the same tiny little girl I almost lost a few times throughout our lives together.

When I was only a few months pregnant with her I almost lost her. I weighed only 94lbs when I got pregnant with her and once pregnant I started to lose weight no matter how hard I tried to gain or maintain it.

When I was a few months pregnant I started to lose her. Through the grace of God and great medical care I managed to keep her but I had to be on total bed rest for quite a while. Of course, Mrs. Murphy's law would state that you only get ordered to bed rest right when you've already given your notice to move from your apartment to your new house and you only have two weeks to do it in. It was a stressful time, I was ordered to bed rest, the packing and moving had to be done, I couldn't hold any food down and was losing weight, worry about the baby etc. Through the help of family and my ex we managed to get moved and the baby managed to hang in there.

The pregnancy was touch-and-go for a while. Although I ate everything that I could the baby was taking all the nutrients from my body and basically starving me. I became sicker and sicker as the pregnancy went on but I was determined this baby would be born healthy and strong no matter what happened to me. I remember the doctor refering to the baby as a human parasite...I wasn't pleased! I eventually carried the baby past term...10 months! I looked like human skeleton with a huge huge belly! My belly was so big that if I laid on my back I couldn't get back up again so naturally my nickname became "turtle". Now wouldn't that make a sick pregnant woman feel terrific?! LOL Before ex could leave for work in the morning he had to help me get out of the waterbed or I'd be stuck there for the day! I couldn't sit at the table and reach my plate so I had to put my plate on my stomach to eat my meals! I couldn't reach the steering wheel past my stomach so driving was out. No one, least of all my doctor, could believe how huge my baby tummy was and how skinny I was everywhere else! I could handle it though, it meant my baby was growing and healthy and that's all I wanted. I could deal with the bad stuff.

After ten months I went into silent labour. I had no idea I was in labour and would have had her at home ( 1 hour from the hospital) had I not gone in for my weekly check-up that morning. The doctor was surprised and alarmed that I was dialating and in labour. He sent me straight to the hospital so I went home first, packed my bag, cleaned up a bit and told Dad that his grandbaby was on it's way. I was very calm, Dad was not and I was quickly transported to the hospital. I will admit I really wanted to have the baby at home but Dad, Ex and the doctor caught on to me and I was forced into the hospital. I was checked in faster than a blink of an eye and then settled in for what I was told would be a long labour. The doctor came to see me and explained that I probably would stop dialating soon and the baby would be born sometime the next day. He said he'd go get something to eat and he'd come back in the morning to see me. For a half hour before this I was having little pains, like little twinges, and doc told me that was the beginning of the labour and it would get a lot worse.

15 mins after he left, beautiful headstrong daughter decided to try to sneak into the world without the presence of a doctor. The doctor was frantically paged and I was told under no circumstances was I allowed to push this baby out. I tried not to...I really tried not to but as soon as the doc ran in, bouncing around trying to get his scrubs on and looking hilarious doing so, I laughed and then beautiful headstrong daughter made such an fast entrance to the world that the doctor almost didn't catch her! Such a beautiful 8lb 1 ounce baby she was. I had been told if the baby was any more than 5 pounds I couldn't have natural child birth but she fooled them all. My labour from the time of the first little twinge I could barely feel to the birth was 45 mins.

When she as 11 years old she was having seisures and it was discovered they were caused by a 2 1/2 diameter tumor in her right temporal lobe. The surgery was very risky but necessary. The surgeon and I made sure she knew everything about the surgery and it's risks and benefits and then I asked her what she wanted. She told me she wanted the surgery because that was her best chance, and she was right. What I didn't know is that she thought if they cut through her brain she'd die. That tiny little girl bravely went into surgery, without a tear so she wouldn't upset me, thinking that she would die. That just breaks my heart. I so thought she understood and yet there was some piece of the information we, the surgeon and I, gave her that she misunderstood. She never asked why, she never cried, she just went bravely into what she thought was going to be her trip to heaven and she didn't want me to cry. I still cry at the thought of what that poor tiny little girl went through. I so wish I had known so I could have talked to her about it but I never knew until she told me when she was older. Such a brave little thing.

It was another touch-and-go situation but she made it through. The tumor was removed but she wasn't classified as tumor or seizure free for ten years after surgery. We all celebrated when her ten years were up. She's a very fortunated little girl who had probably a whole host of Angels watching over her.

This same little girl graduated University. Yes Monica, I did cry. I cried tears of joy and thankfulness for her making through a very difficult life, most of which will not be written about here. I cried tears of joy and thankfulness for the good Lord sharing her with me. I cried tears of joy and thankfulness for the love she has for me and for the love I have for her. I cried tears of joy and thankfulness for the woman she's become and for the child that she was. I cried tears of laughter and felt overwhelming love and recognition when she was standing in the line of grads and she leaned back so I could see her and stuck her tongue out at me. I realized then that tiny brave little girl I was missing was not lost but still a part of her forever more.

I cried tears of remembrance as I watched her on the stage accepting her diploma and suddenly felt the weight of her in my arms as a tiny little 8lb 1oz baby.

These arms are empty now but I know someday beautiful headstrong daughter will fill my arms with the tiny little being born out of the love she and future son-in-law share.

I can't wait to shed those tears of joy and thankfulness.

I am sooo blessed.
I wish you all enough.

Finally Home!

Well, all the grad festivities are finished and I'm finally home. I actually have some time today to visit all my favorite blogs! Well I will have enough time if I don't spend too much time writing this. lol

Beautiful Headstrong Daughter's grads were fantastic. The only regret I had was my Mom and Dad couldn't be there to see her. I'm sure Dad was there watching her shine but it's not the same when I couldn't hug him or hear the love in his voice or see the pride sparkle in his eyes. Mom couldn't be there because she's still not fully recovered from the strokes. She's doing better but it would have been too much for her to take the trip.

I think things might just slow down for a while around here....at least I'm hoping they do! It will be nice to have some free time but for the free time I find myself in right now I'm going to use to visit all my favorite blogs!

I wish you all enough.